Wow. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine I’d have this much money!
It seems like only yesterday that I was living day to day, trying to make ends meet in my lowly job as a public toilet cleaner.
In fact, it was yesterday… and it was only a week ago that I decided to suck it up and buy my ticket to a better life.
In hindsight, I can’t see why I was so reluctant to ever buy into the whole lottery ‘thing’ in the first place. I guess I just didn’t believe that it was possible to achieve such enormous wealth so quickly and easily!
I’m still coming to terms with the fact that this process is even logical… I mean, if it’s really this easy, why doesn’t everyone just go out and buy 9.5 million dollars?
It’s really quite simple: You buy a ticket that costs eight dollars, and a few days later you exchange your ticket for 9.5 million dollars… hello??? Does any one else want to get in on this?!
Still now, I walk down the street asking random people if they have ever considered buying 9.5 million dollars, and they all look at me like I’m nuts! One unexplainably angry man even punched me in the face when I kept referring to the millions of dollars I’d acquired and repeatedly asked him why he hadn’t attempted to attain the same amount of money for his family, and mentioned that perhaps he was a failure as a father and husband for not buying money from the lottery himself.
In fact, I blame the lottery for not advertising their services more. I’m sure if word got out more about the fantastic service they offer the public, people would just be lining up to buy their own 9.5 million dollars (alright, $9,499,992 after the eight dollars you pay for the privilege!).
Admittedly, I’m no economist, but one can’t help but think that maybe if everyone had purchased 9.5 million dollars more often that the world economy would not be in such a bad shape right now.
We might even all be driving Lamborghini’s and living in palatial mansions right now!
Hopefully I’ve begun to spread the word about the lottery and all it has to offer people. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go yachting!
This is Modern 