In the tradition of more successful blogs, I’ve decided to do a periodical wrap-up of recent events and such… I’m not sure how often this list will appear, but given my stunningly short attention span and chronic lethargy, I’m thinking yearly might be a realistic target at this stage…
In any case, you’ll notice I’ve decided to mix it up by filing each item under a specific group. You may also notice each group is named after a song title by Australian punk-rock legends Frenzal Rhomb. Thus making this the single sickest blog entry on the internet.
It has been a big (unspecified period) in news, plenty of celebrity deaths and sexual deviance… so let’s get to it…
Richer Than You – Andrew ‘Twiggy’ (ROFL-iron) Forrest named Australia’s richest man.
Meanwhile I climb to #14,560,564 on the BRW rich list… up 3 whole places from last year, baby.
Fraud – Alan Bond. You’re just a dodgy m*therfucker.
No Thought – The Melbourne bouncer who practices the unique art of Hari-Su’ui… this involves ‘keeping balance’ by kicking the absolute shit out of a drunk.
You Are A Knob – John Brumby. No explanation needed lately.
Racist – The NSW township of Camden. C’Maahhn… Give Muslims a chance… Watch Salam Cafe and see if you’re still threatened by them! That show’s awesome.
Not So Tough Now – John Howard. Not relevant, yet still having his say. STFU man, we evicted you from the BB house in November, you should be promoting nightclubs and whatnot…
I Love Fucking Up – Iain ‘Huey’ Hewitson. Just cook a meal without dropping, forgetting or setting fire to something for once. Oh how you make me cringe.
Don’t Touch The Rabbit – Puppy farmer fined $86,000 for mistreatment of Chihuahuas. Well they’ve biologically adapted to life inside rich slutty socialites handbags, surely they can do without something as trivial as sustenance.
Worlds Fuckedest Cunt – Josef Fritzl. The man is his childrens own grandfather, yet he still receives love letters from sick bitches the world over. WTF? I can’t even get a girl with a ludricrously expensive alco-pop hanging out my fly, yet this dude scores more vag than Jeremy Piven!… perhaps the Bacardi-in-the-pants-thing is a turn-off after all?
I need a girlfriend.
Fuck You And Your Stupid Band – American Boy by Estelle and Kanye West has successfully climbed to the top of my ‘Songs That Would Most Likely Cause Me To Belt-sand My Head Into A Tiny Nub’ charts.
Here Today, Gone Late Today – RIP Sydney Pollack and Bo Diddley. Amy Winehouse is still alive at this stage. I’ll keep you posted though.