NT Town to Experience Phenominal Population Growth

A Northern Territory town is set to claim the highest population growth rate in Australia this year.

The population of Tinea Creek is set to explode by 100% in October 2009, when the isolated township’s only two residents, Les and Marg McGinley are expected to give birth to twin boys, setting an unprecedented population growth record for an Australian regional centre.

“We’re just so excited for the town” said Mrs McGinley, 36. “This place has suffered some setbacks in the past, but to know that our population will be doubled within 9 months is amazing news!”

Tinea Creek has, in the past, been something of a statistical anomaly, being the only town in the country to ever lose 33% of it’s population in a calendar year, when, in 2006, Les’ father died due to exposure to an angry crocodile.

“Sure, 2006 was a hard year for the town,” Mr McGinley explains, “but we, as a community, managed to pull through it all, and now look where we are. It’s incredible the resurgence this place has experienced.”

Mr McGinley, who, as well as owning a 300,000 hectare cattle station, serves as the town mayor, postman, publican, storeman, and statistician, predicts the coming population boom will boost the town economy for the better, especially in sales of milk formula, toys, and Wiggles DVDs.

Mrs McGinley, who serves as town planner, has put in place a $150 budget towards new infrastructure for the area, including plans for a used swing set and rubber stoppers to cover the sharp corners of tables and desks.

The nation’s population growth rate currently stands at 1.7%, which, contrasted with Tinea Creek’s expected increase, see’s the small town heading up what NT Chief Minister Paul Henderson calls “a renaissance of the north.”

“All citizens of the Northern Territory are proud of the achievements of Tinea Creek, an achievement clearly stating what we in the territory already know… we’re the most progressive, forward thinking, people-friendly place in Australia.” Mr Henderson said, before opening his third VB longneck of the morning and promptly skoling the contents.

Mrs McGinley has a more community-based viewpoint. “We’re just so excited about what this all means for the town,” she says. “People often think of Tinea Creek as a vast, crumbling, ugly desert backwater… but with the new arrivals expected, I can imagine Tinea Creek may even get it’s own postcode.”
“That’s the dream.” Adds a tearful Mr McGinley.

***

Editors note: Since publication, the McGinleys have discovered that their pregnancy turned out to just be bad indigestion on Mrs McGinley’s part, halting Northern Territory plans for a Sydney-Tinea Creek train line, and the planned Tinea Creek international airport.

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