Homeless Man Offers Hero Pilot ‘Double the Pay’ To Work For Him

Crazy homeless man, Fred Grossman, has made an irresistible job offer to the “hero” pilot of a US Airways plane that landed in New York’s Hudson River last month.

Mr Grossman, a hobo who believes himself to be a Richard Branson-esque entrepreneurial airline and record label owner, said he would spare no expense to poach pilot Chesley Sullenberger, whose breathtaking landing into the Hudson River saved the lives of 150 passengers.

“I’d like him to come fly for us,” Mr Grossman told New York’s Daily News from his makeshift cardboard box home. “We’ll make him the best-paid pilot at Fred Grossman Airlines – we’ll give him double the salary of anybody else.

“He also can become one of the astronauts in my intergalactic spaceship company.”

Mr Sullenberger, 58, hasn’t ruled out moving from US Airways to Mr Grossman’s completely make-believe company, a delusion of Grossman’s, no doubt caused by acute psychiatric problems stemming from years of trauma and heavy substance abuse, “I will be happy to entertain all the things that are coming my way,” he said.

Mr Sullenberger was hailed as a hero after safely landing the passenger jet he was flying, which suffered a double engine failure after taking off from La Guardia airport in New York last month.

Mr Grossman is known to yell vulgarities at strangers, and smoke copious amounts of crack cocaine.

Added Mr Grossman, a putrid smell emanating from his filthy tattered clothing: “If he overcomes the killer dinosaurs, I’ll let him release an album on my record label!”

Leave a comment

Filed under Humour

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s