Culture Cringe

Uh, this is awkward…

Okay, here goes…

I… am un-Australian.

And no amount of footy-watching, Holden-admiring, four’n’twenty-eating, boogie-boarding, ‘gidday-mawt’ing or binge-drinking is going to change it.

That’s right, a problem even excessive consumption of alcohol can’t remedy…

You see, I have a very specific form of culture-cringe… shameful, yes, but it is one that you will not even find in a particularly venomous Germaine Greer opinion article, no matter how hard you look.

No, this type of culture-cringe appears through the internet, manifesting itself while you’re online, mainly while reading Youtube comments…

Let me explain.

I’m not so sure, but I think I must be the only person in this country that isn’t ridiculously excited to see home-grown, fly-on-the-wall comedy Kath and Kim re-made as an American series.

And it’s not that I dislike the original series.
On the contrary, I think it’s very funny, particulary as I have family who live in Narre Warren (the real-life Fountain Lakes) and are just 2 minutes drive from Fountain Gate shopping centre.

Although the movie-length ‘Da Kath and Kim Code‘ was a bit of a shambles (not least for the uninspiring performance of The Wiggles in a cameo role), the show is comedically strong, which you could say is somewhat of an anomoly in Australian television comedy, and the characters are well developed.
Of course, Gina Riley and Jane Turner have always been very funny writer/performers in their own right.

No, the reason I do not want to see Kath and Kim re-made as an American series is more to do with parochial Australian television viewers who insist on visiting Youtube, then leaving comments about how AUSSIES ARE FUKEN AWSUM SO MUCH BETTR THAN AMERICANS WHERE THJE BEST!!1

Still don’t understand what I’m talking about?

Go to Youtube and watch some clips of the Australian and American versions of Thank God You’re Here.
The amount of my fellow countrymen leaving comments about how our version of TGYH was so much superior to the American one, and how Americans are thieves for stealing OUR TV show (as if these dickheads were the ones that came up with the premise of the show themselves), just makes me want to club someone over the head with a heavy Peter Russel Clarke cookbook.

And I just KNOW it’s going to happen all over again once Molly Shannon and Selma Blair transform themselves into the Seppo Kath and Kim respectively.

Never once does it occur in these people’s minds that pretty much everything we see on Australian television has been developed by the US and then used by us.

What, do you think Peter Hitchener came up with the idea for a news desk? No. Nothing is original except perhaps the content. And when Australian content does get presented to the world, morons of various descriptions act like it’s the best thing ever thought-up and proceed to aggressively glorify it, while putting down achievements of others. And it shits me to tears.

Yes, I cringe for my country when some obviously brain-damaged individual thinks he can win an online argument about whether Australian Rules Football or American Football is tougher with arguments such as “AFL is our game fagetsbest fuckin game in the world.sic song as well” (real quote).

Yes, I cringe when people from Australia use footage of Borat visiting Australia as a forum to discuss why Australia is the bestest country in the world, and nowhere else is worth even shitting on…
Uh… it’s a video about fucking Borat! Why on earth are you arguing about countries comparitive GDP here???

And as production wraps up on the Melbourne set of the American-funded, HBO mini-series, The Pacific, follow-up to the critically acclaimed (and brilliant) Band of Brothers, I am once again torn between pride in my country, with the apparent portrayal of Australian soldiers and civilians in wartime Melbourne, and the inevitable shamefest that will follow when I stumble across footage of the series on Youtube, above comments from some of our nations finest minds, letting everyone know that AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE! SOLDIER DIGGERS PWND THE WAR, WOT WAR IS THIS?? LOL. FUCK AMERICA WE SAVED THEM FROM THE DUTCH1!!

So on the one hand I am glad original content from my country is getting the recognition it deserves, we really do produce some outstanding talent in the arts, television, music, sport, etc… but I just hope this US version of Kath and Kim is the funniest thing ever put on TV, or there are going to be a lot of needlessly patriotic idiots shitting on about it everywhere, and call me un-Australian, but I’m afraid I just don’t care enough about that sort of stuff to get riled up about it.

“OMG I can’t believe you think the US version of The Office is better!”


Filed under Humour

5 responses to “Culture Cringe

  1. The thing is though, the only ones who actually take those comments as gospel are idiots themselves. It’s the blind leading the blind. morons leading morons?

    K&K hasn’t been funny since like the first season anyway – let em have it I say.

  2. James

    Yeh good point. Though this is one of the funniest things ever…

  3. Dude. Never read the comments on youtube. Full stop, don’t read ’em. They’ll break your heart every time.

    I agree with Lozzy. Kath & Kim is pretty awful.

  4. that goes for comments on imdb and too

  5. James

    Aw c’mahhn.. I love me some low-brow bogan ‘umor.
    There’s a story on about Gordon Ramsay opening his Australian restaurant in Melbourne.
    Ugh… and so it begins, another endless online Melbourne vs Sydney debate between petty commenters.

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