Right now it’s a fairly safe bet that somewhere out there a pregnant woman exists…
Right now she is sitting in front of the TV with a baby name book… possibly a bottle of wine… possibly while smoking some skunk… possibly while also injecting heroin in her toe-webs… thinking about names for the slippery little sucker gestating inside of her.
I would have thought giving your baby a good, sensible, not-embarassing name would be one of the easiest things in the world. You slap a Josh or a Kate or a Malibu M’fu-fu Moon Unit on it, and it practically raises itself dontcha know.
Anyway, instead of going through a whole book of good names, I thought I’d make it easier for “future walking-trustfunds” (Hopelessly dependent on my parents ftw!!!) to check out a whole lot of shitty names instead!
10 Practically Defunct Boys Names…
(It only takes one utterly insane fucktard to ruin a name)
10 Geekish Boys Names…
(Most nerds would consider at least one of these awful names)
10 Names You’d Give to a Boy You Knew Was Going to be Retarded…
(And if they aren’t then they’ll just seem like more of a dipshit when they’re a forty-two year old, perpetually single bank manager named Rudy)
10 Names That Sound Normal But You Can Spell Like This Just to Piss Off Your Daughter When She Realizes Everyone Resents Her For Her Shitty Name And Not You…